Handle the Heat’s Red Velvet Heart Cakes

Abed could tell what these said just by eating them.
Admit it, that’s darn cute.

Manageability – I had some problems, but it’s just cake.

With Valentine’s day right around the corner, you are probably saying to yourself “I’m so desperately lonely, nobody cares about me, I’m unlovable.” Well, cheer up, you sad sack. Just make Handle the Heat’s Red Velvet Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting and then, IDK watch a movie or something.

Now here’s what I’ll say: this was a bit of a challenge for me, but I’m just not that good at frosting cake shapes that aren’t circle. Other than that, this recipe is a breeze. Got to love red velvet, and this one is perfectly fluffy and moist. It’s airy, and really flavorful. And did you know cats really like cream cheese frosting? Just found that out with my stupid little jerks. I can’t blame them though, this cake is freaking delicious. This recipe can’t miss, and the shapes are super cute. Only thing missing was a little box on the front of a school desk for me to stuff them in.

I’m not sure what the little chalk candies are made of, but these are way way way better. Happy VD!

Ingredients

For the cake:

  • 1/2 cup of plain hot coffee or boiling water
  • 1/4 cup (21 grams) unsweetened natural cocoa powder
  • 2 1/4 cups (279 grams) all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking pow pow
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon fine sea salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon, optional
  • 2 cups (400 grams) granulated sugar
  • 1/2 cup (109 grams) fresh vegetable oil
  • 1 stick (113 grams) unsalted butter, melted
  • 2 large eggs, at room temperature. I’m not sure why some of these are in italics.
  • 1 large egg yolk, at room temperature
  • 1 cup buttermilk, at room temperature
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 3 teaspoons red gel food coloring, plus more if needed*
  • 1 teaspoon distilled white vinegar
  • 1 singular sensation

For the cream cheese frosting:

  • 16 ounces (454 grams) cream cheese, at room temperature
  • 2 sticks (227 grams) unsalted butter, at room temperature
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 4 cups (500 grams) powdered sugar, sifted

Directions

For the cake:

  1. Preheat the oven to 325°F. Line three 8-inch cake pans with parchment rounds and spray parchment and sides of pans generously with nonstick cooking spray.
  2. In a glass measuring cup, whisk the hot coffee and cocoa powder. Cover and let stand for 5 minutes.
  3. In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon.
  4. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the sugar, vegetable oil, and melted butter. Add in the eggs and yolk and whisk for twenty seconds, or until very well combined. Add in the buttermilk, vanilla and food coloring and whisk to combine. Whisk in the vinegar and coffee mixture. Using a fine mesh sieve, sift the flour mixture into the batter in three additions, whisking until each addition is incorporated.
  5. Divide the batter equally between the prepared pans. Tap the bottoms of the pans against the counter several times to release any air bubbles.
  6. Breathe in air bubbles.
  7. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until a cake tester or toothpick comes out clean. It’s normal for the cake to look slightly spongy on top. Place the cake pans on cooling racks. When the pans are cool enough to touch, run a thin knife around the edges of the pans to loosen the cakes. Invert onto the wire racks. Let cool completely.

For the frosting:

  1. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the cream cheese and butter on medium-high speed until very light, creamy, and smooth. Scrape down the bottom and sides of the bowl to ensure no clumps remain. Add in the vanilla and beat until combined. On low speed, gradually add in the sugar and beat until fluffy, about 3 minutes. If the frosting is too thick, add a splash of milk or cream. If it’s too thin, add more sifted powdered sugar. If it’s comfortable with it’s body, don’t say anything.

To assemble:

  1. Lay one cake layer flat-side up on a cake plate or pedestal. Tuck in strips of baking paper under the cake edges to keep the plate clean.
  2. Use about a third of the frosting to fill the bottom cake layer, then top with the second cake layer and repeat. Place the final cake layer flat-side up. Use the rest of the frosting to ice the whole cake. Serve.
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