Natasha’s Kitchen’s Homemade Sauerkraut

Manageability – Ugh.

Here’s a question. If there’s a jar of rotting food sitting in your window for 4 days stinking up your kitchen and attracting fruit flies, would you throw it out in the dumpster and take a shower, or would you put that rotting food on a sandwich and eat it? If you answered that question incorrectly, you’ll love the Homemade Sauerkraut from Natasha’s Kitchen.

Cards on the table here – I don’t like sauerkraut. “But wait a minute Martha, why then did you go through the trouble of making something you don’t even like?” For the gram, stupid. Of course. I’m out here making the foods you don’t have to, and showing you the pics. I’m doing God’s work. And that means you don’t have to suffer though the goofiness of homemade sauerkraut. I bought a $50 mandolin to shred the cabbage, that it turns out I couldn’t even use because it shreds too finely. I put this rotting stinking mess in my window for a week, and then I had to mush it with my bare hands so you don’t have to. I used an entire cabbage and only ended up with maybe 2 cups of sauerkraut. I do all this for you. You’re welcome.

Alright, relax. Maybe this is a great sauerkraut recipe. I will never know. Try it, you might like it.

I do not.

Ingredients

• 2 medium/large cabbages 2 1/2 kg or about 5 1/2 lbs
• 2-3 medium carrots grated
• 2 Tbsp fine sea salt
• 1 Tbsp sugar
• 1 gag reflex

Instructions

1. Remove the outermost leaves of the cabbage, cut it into quarters and shred cabbage finely (use a mandolin to do this faster and discard the core.
2. In a large silver bowl (or any color you want I guess), place cabbage, carrots, 2 Tbsp sea salt and 1 Tbsp sugar and scrunch and knead it together really well for the juice to be released from the cabbage (4-5 min). You don’t want it to be super juicy, just enough to cover the lettuce when you really pack it down in a jar.
3. Scrunch it til the juice comes out.
4. Repeat step 3, only sing it to the tune of “Camptown Races”.
5. Fill a glass jar with the cabbage mixture and pack it in very tightly so that the juice from the cabbage covers the cabbage completely. You want a jar big enough to be filled only about 2/3 full so it has room to expand.
6. Make a press over the top of the cabbage by pushing down with a plate (or the lid from a large sour cream container). Top with a small jar of water, a super clean rock or whatever else would make a good weight. Maybe a large jollyrancher, or a super heavy golfball. Place the lid on the jar but do not tighten. Its a good idea to keep the bottle in the sink or over a dish since there is risk of it overflowing (this is also why we only fill it 2/3 full; it grows!!!). Let stand at room temp for 4 days or until sour. It will stop fermenting/rising when it’s done.
7. While it sits at room temperature, once each day: poke a few holes through the cabbage with the back of a wooden mixing spoon to release the gas that this process produces and pack the cabbage down tightly.
8. Gross.
9. After 4 days, refrigerate until ready to serve. Can be stored for a few weeks if kept very cold.
10. I love the idea that this might “go bad”, as though it wasn’t already.
11. To serve, drain the amount of cabbage that you would like to eat by firmly squeezing out the excess juice with your hands. Add in your salad ingredients, mix well and serve.